Can't Be Really Gone
by Une-chan
Summary: DxR yuri and sap... Lena loses the most important thing in her life and realizes that she can't live without it... so she has to find her.


Title: Can't Be Really Gone (songfic)  
  
Author: Une~chan  
  
Pairings: DxR  
  
Warnings: yuri, sap, angst  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own Gundam Wing. I never will. So be the cruelness of the world.  
  
Author's Notes: This is a song from an old country CD I recently found, by Tim McGraw. I really thought it was pretty. I have been entranced with this song for a long time, and finally decided to do something with it. And a few references are thanks to Shi~chan, who has been endlessly quoting Macbeth as of late. (Tankees, hun. ^^) It's a bit rushed, but I decided I needed to send in something, as I have neglected you all lately. It only took me an hour to write, so if you have any suggestions on redoing any of it, please, let me know. I will appreciate any ideas thrown my way.  
  
~~ flashback  
  
// thought  
  
blah blah blah song lyrics  
  
~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Relena walked into small apartment, the January breeze freezing her skin. As she shut the door, the blond woman noticed that there was no music, no sound, no warmth at all in the small apartment. Just an eerie silence. Her roommate evidently was out, for she liked warmth and soft music as a background for her everyday happenings.  
  
//Hmm….I wonder if she went shopping today. I don't remember her saying anything about it. Then again, she may have a reason not to. Wait, she still would have told me so that I wouldn't worry. She hates when I worry. Hm…//  
  
Slowly, Relena moved towards her bedroom. Something just didn't feel right. Her heart began pounding, the fear racing through her veins. Being an official made her wary, and since her things were considered private and not to be messed with, they were often a worry to her. Very few things actually concerned her, but what she did value, she would protect with her life. Things like the bear Heero had given her for her sixteenth birthday, her photo album, the endless array of angel figurines, and her letters from friends meant more to her than anything, and she refused to part with them.  
  
Her hat is hanging by the door  
  
The one she bought in Mexico  
  
It blocked the wind - it stopped the rain  
  
She'd never leave that one  
  
So, she can't be really gone  
  
Passing a rather vivid infusion of color, Relena remembered buying the large sombrero for her love on summer vacation in Mexico the year before. //Still too bright, but she loved it ever so much. The look on her face at the presentation of the silly souvenir was priceless. I don't think I've ever made her happier.//  
  
Relena dropped her things on her bed and opened the top drawer of the cherry dresser. Her silky panties and lacy bras were tossed every which way, with the only photo album she owned missing from the back corner. Quickly, she shuffled through the remaining drawers, then moved to her closet. Nothing else was missing. Just the photos…. Her only picture of her love had been in there, taken of the two last Christmas. She walked sluggishly through the apartment, tripping over the intricate green silk slippers on the floor in the hallway.  
  
The shoes she bought on Christmas Eve  
  
She laughed and said they called her name  
  
It's like they're waiting in the hall  
  
For her to slip them on  
  
So, she can't be really gone  
  
~~"I have to have them. They're simply adorable! Buy them for me, for Christmas! They can be an early present. Please!!!" Her roommate pouted and gripped her arm.  
  
"Of course I'll buy them. Why wouldn't I?" Relena smiled as she pulled out her purse, paying the cashier for the pretty little slippers.~~  
  
Glancing at them, she wondered when the owner would return to slip them on and glide around the house in them, sneaking up on anyone so easily. The tiny embroidered dragons stared at her hauntingly. //She's not coming back for us. Don't you know that? Why would she want to? We're only the last present you ever gave her.//  
  
Tiptoeing into the other's bedroom, she glimpsed a note laying on the pillow. //She used the purple we bought. Hmmm…. it's for me.//  
  
Lena,  
  
Please forgive me. I can't live like this anymore. I don't know how to tell you otherwise, so I'm going to explain here. My dear, I love you. I have for many years now. I didn't know why you said yes when I asked you to be my roommate, but I have thanked the heavens every day for it. Unfortunately, I didn't realize that I would only be torturing myself. You see, I have loved you since I met you. My beautiful one, I simply can't stand to live like this. I need you, in so many ways. I know you care for me, but I can't even begin to hope that you would ever love me. I leave you now, so that you may find someone better suited to your elegant refinement. I may come back someday, to see if you're happy. I hope you are, by then.  
  
I'm sorry for taking your photo album, but I'll have copies made and sent back to you. I must have one memento of you to keep with me on the long, lonely nights that I must endure. Please don't be sad or angry, as this is for you. I want you to be happy, and I will only prevent that if I stay. Don't cry. I know you will, though I ask you not to. You are so kind and generous. You've never been one to say no, even to my mindless whims. On this note, I must end this pitiful pouring out of my soul, for you will be home soon, and I know I won't have the courage to leave if I see you again. My angel, I love you.  
  
  
  
Eternally yours,  
  
Dorothy  
  
I don't know when she'll come back  
  
She must intend to come back  
  
And I've seen the error of my ways  
  
Don't waste the tears on me  
  
What more proof do you need  
  
Just look around the room  
  
So much of her remains  
  
Tears stained the letter as Relena slipped it back into the matching envelope. Her Dorothy…. She had loved her all along, and Relena had been too scared of losing her if she revealed her own feelings. Now, she lost her because she had not revealed them. What a mess. Would Dorothy ever come back? She said she would, but she could lose interest in time, maybe find someone new. That thought was too much for the young woman, as she sank down on her beloved's pillow, her feelings seeping out into a puddle below the angelic face.  
  
Her book is lying on the bed  
  
The two of hearts to mark her page  
  
Now, who could ever walk away  
  
At chapter twenty-one  
  
So, she can't be really gone  
  
After an hour or so passed, Relena moved slightly, noticing that she was laying upon something which had been digging painfully into her side for some time now.  
  
A hardback copy of Macbeth lay beneath her, open to her favorite scene. The bookmark from the last trip to Hallmark rested in the center. She flipped it over, reading the inscription. To my dear friend, may you enjoy this book which you quote so often, and so beautifully. ~Lena  
  
She placed the marker back into the book, pushing it aside. Never had she felt so alone in her life. The death of her father, the pain of learning the fate of her biological parents, the fear of losing either her brother or a very good friend, nothing compared to the new void in her heart.  
  
Just look around the room  
  
So much of her remains  
  
Everything Dorothy owned still occupied the room. She had not even taken her clothes. The memoirs of her presence lay around the room, everything scattered and in disarray. The only disorder in an otherwise boring life. Confusion clouded her mind. How would she ever find her love, and convince her to return? She knew that it must be done soon, or she wouldn't be able to stand living, so empty and cold.  
  
Her book is lying on the bed  
  
The two of hearts to mark her page  
  
Now, who could ever walk away  
  
With so much left undone  
  
So, she can't be really gone  
  
She glanced back at the book. It was still lying where she had pushed it, unobtrusive on the unmade bed. She had bought the book as a going away present for her beloved when she was leaving on a trip for a diplomatic convention in the colonies. It was to keep her company, and to be memorized, while Relena was gone. Dorothy had worn the binding to almost nothing, having read it so many times since then. At the shuttle station, Dorothy had actually cried, begging her to stay. She had boarded the shuttle, confused and hurt, not yet realizing that it was love that made the tears of the strange young blonde woman hurt so much.  
  
No, she can't be really gone  
  
Relena threw the door open as soon as she reached the front entrance to the aforementioned shuttle station, calling out to a valet that he could have the damned thing when told she could not park there.  
  
Blond hair flying, she raced up the escalator, pushing people aside as she rushed to the port. She prayed with all her soul that she wasn't too late. Stopping at the top of the escalator, she turned and glanced back down. Up came Dorothy, tears streaming down her pale face. Never had Relena felt such relief and pain, all in a single moment. She stood there, heedless of the demands to move from the crowd surrounding her.  
  
Dorothy gradually raised her head. Crystal met sky as Dorothy stepped off of the escalator. Relena shyly stepped up to her, placed her hands on Dorothy's cheeks, and kissed her, ever so slowly. She broke the kiss and raised her eyes, questioning the taller girl. In silence, Dorothy shook her head and buried her hands in Relena's hair as she pulled her closer to place a tender kiss on her lips before parting them and slipping her tongue inside the velvet of her love's mouth. They stood there, wrapped in each other's arms, for a long while, kissing. The catcalls, insults, and whistles never registered. The two simply stood, lost in the emotions that overwhelmed them. 


End file.
